–Leslie Jamison, The Empathy Exam
I take my work seriously. I put in the time and effort. I’m present, driven and detailed. I must move forward. The hardest thing for me to do is sit idle or feel like I’m not growing. I’ve been comfortable for years while moving on a good trajectory but lately it hasn’t been enough. I’ve endured certain sacrifices like a soul-crushing commute and a pay-cut. The money I didn’t mind so much, since it’s never been my goal. But the loss of time, 3 hours per day, sometimes 4 started to wear like an incessant high-pitched noise that you can ignore for only so long before it drives you mad.
So that’s it.
I’m quitting and I’m doing the scariest of things. I’m going to school full-time.
People think I make rash decisions, because I make B I G decisions. But what they don’t realize is that I’ve been chewing on the decision and the myriad paths of possibility that lead from it for months, possibly years.
As I mentioned before, I make plans. I live humbly and I always have a safety net and a backup plan, and an emergency extraction if that fails. I have to believe in a life that is better, wider, and more true than what I’ve done so far. I am very close to where I want to be and it’s taken many difficult decisions to get here. I will never be content if I don’t make this choice for myself, right here and right now.
Happiness is a choice and you have to be willing to make the big decisions once the truth is there.
Starting next week I will be full time student at University of Texas at Austin, or as it is known around these parts, The University.