This is what I gazed at tonight while I rinsed and washed my glassware during chemistry lab. The water slithers out the end of a neoprene tube, so the washing is done slowly and methodically. In fact most things in this class are performed this way
These are not traits I naturally have. I am always running late, oftentimes tired, catching up on sleep, homework or time. Each step of the experiment requires time and patience and attention to detail. I must wait for chemical changes to occur, water to boil, precipitates to cool. I need to weigh things accurately and often. I need to closely observe the reactants and products and record their descriptions. In short, I must be a better version of myself and I really like it.
I’ve discovered that I don’t know how to relax very well. Without a task to do, I am anxious and unfocused. This makes me excellent at multitasking and complex problem solving but always at the risk of burn-out. I’ve surrounded myself with people and processes that enable me to relax without feeling the urge to complete some nagging task. I’m still learning to quiet my mind but I think I’m getting much better at it.
It’s quite liberating.